
Could you find 10 minutes in your week for something important?
Could you find 20 minutes in your week if it would improve your child’s behavior?
Introducing The Ten Minute Moment
The Ten Minute Moment is simple, profound, and designed to strengthen the connection between you and your child. And, it takes just 10 minutes. That’s all. Once, maybe twice, a week.
The hardest part isn’t putting your phone away—it’s putting yourself on hold and climbing into their world. Which is why we start with just 10 minutes and just once or twice a week.
Why Ten Minutes?
Children, especially our more sensitive ones, are constantly asking the questions:
Am I important to you?
Do I matter?
Do you see me?
“But I’m doing so much for them; don’t they see that?!?”
It’s so easy to feel that all we do for them (those lunches and appointments and soccer snacks don’t make themselves) shows them that yes, they matter and we see them. We care that they are on time to school, we care that they get their vegetables, we care that their clothes are clean. Doesn't that count?
Yes that counts. But not in the way we think.
Those packed lunches, folded clothes, and doctor’s appointments don’t always transmit the affection and deep love that we put into it.
What they need isn’t more effort. They feel safer and more secure when our answer is “yes”--but no just with our words, but with our actions. And that’s where The Ten Minute Moment is a gamechanger: you, your child, 10 minutes, and 100% of your (full!) attention. That’s it.
How to Start
Set the stage. Tell your child: “I’m so excited for our special time today! Just you and me.” Let them name it if they want, maybe it’s Olivia Time or Liam Time.
Put away distractions. Turn off your phone. Yes, really, off. Set a timer for 10 minutes. Why a timer? It signals to your child (and your busy brain!) that this time is sacred . . . and that there is an end in sight. Your brain likes that.
Let them lead. Ask, “What do you want to do?” And here’s the hard part: resist the urge to direct. If they want to stack blocks or play superhero, follow their lead. No screens, no structured activities – just follow their lead. You can even just watch and comment.
Engage fully. Notice what they’re doing. Say things like, “Wow, you’re building such a tall tower!” or “You’re zooming your car so fast!” “Tell me more about that painting.” You’re not instructing; you’re witnessing, with curiosity and interest. With love. And don’t be afraid to be silly, that’s kid gold! One of my girls still chuckles at the memories of the Tickle Monster that tried to eat her belly.
Handle big emotions. When the timer goes off, they might not want to stop. That’s okay! Stay compassionate: “I loved this time too. I can’t wait for the next one!” Remind them when it’s coming again.
Got a Moment?
Grab your calendar, grab your child and pick a ten minute block where you can show up each week. You might just find that those small moments spark big changes in your relationship . . . and their behavior. Because because kids do better when they feel better.
A weekly Ten Minute Moment tells your child, You are enough. You are important to me. It’s not rocket science; it’s relationship science.
Like what you're reading? Download a free chapter of my book,
MicroStep Method for the Overwhelmed Parent: Small Moments, Big Impact.
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