My Story- Why I Became a Parent Coach
My parenting journey of raising four girls—just 5 years apart—has been thrilling, exhausting, and humbling. The last 22 years are scattered with ups and downs, as I'm sure any parent can relate.
I am grateful for all of it.
Our stories are all different. Mine is not defined, but impacted, by anxiety, perfectionism, and depression. Perfectionism is tricky - I developed an array of coping mechanisms that led me to believe I was okay.
In fact, I felt better than okay. I excelled academically and in my career, I achieved my Masters (INSEAD) in France, I founded and sold a company in the Swiss Alps.
Surely parenting would feel the same.
Alas, there I was – 4 daughters, just 5 years apart, and the oldest 2 into their tweens. From the outside – I looked like the model family. But that’s not what it felt like. I tried consequences, I tried begging and bribing, I used straight up guilt. I felt overwhelmed and ashamed. I turned to therapists hoping they could solve the challenges.
All I wanted was for them to feel good, be confident, embrace authenticity. Be happy.
But there was something else. I started to recognize my anxiety, the perfectionism, even some depression creeping into my daughters. Now I was scared too. I was determined to give it everything I had to stop the cycle.
I became certified as both a master life coach and positive parenting expert -- and immersed myself in understanding the root causes, patterns, and physiology of anxiety, perfectionism and depression.
This combination of understanding the human experience, brain science and the extensive research on child development made increasingly clear to me the reasons behind childhood behavior and the epidemic of teen and young adult anxiety and depression.
So there I was jumping around from one idea to the next hoping I’d find the ‘right’ way to parent when I noticed something fascinating. On those days when I’d done my yoga and I felt a bit calmer and I could look a daughter in the eye and get curious around why she was so upset that her sister got away without doing a chore or that her sister got a better part in the play or that she got C on a big report or I’d suggested she get her math homework done…when I was able to focus on what was really going on for her in that moment, I saw their bodies relax, they’d move a bit closer to me, share what they were thinking or maybe some other fears.
Sometimes there’d be tears.
And then a really amazing thing would happen. The next 2 days, they’d do their chores without being asked, they’d have slightly more tolerance for an irritating sister, they’d do the homework without talking back. They'd just be a bit kinder.
It wasn’t luck. I had studied experts on shame, over-parenting, under-parenting, resiliency, and self-esteem. I was certified in neuroscience and child development. I'd personally worked with therapists to understand anxiety and depression. But when it really clicked for me was when I saw myself get it right and wrong with my own children.
And here's the bottom line. Regardless of the specialization or approach, everything comes back to one thing: connection. When my girls felt like I had really seen them and heard them, life was easier.
Was it easy? No. Am I fixed and the girls perfect? No. Did we still argue and fight? Yes. But did I know how to get them back to their true north? Yes. And did I feel better about my parenting? Yes.
And that is why my professional life is now about helping you: because I’ve been there. I want to make sure you don’t do it the hard way, like I did.
Having seen the same issues in other families time and again, I have now taken my understanding of the power of connection, the brain-science of resiliency, and the roots of depression and anxiety and synthesized them into six vital parenting habits to help you nurture and enroot the relationship that you want, and your children so desperately need (hence: better behavior).
I’ve been there; I can help.
Certified Master Life Coach (C.L.M.C.)
Certified Positive Parenting Educator
Masters in Business
Bachelor of Arts -
Start today- your kids will thank you!
Her perspective and support has been invaluable - not just in building a much better relationship with my kids but giving me confidence in my parenting decisions."
- KIRK, 1 BOY, 4 GIRLS, NORTHERN VIRGINIA